Y'know, most people are looking for ways to fit in with society. Whether that be to blend in with the crowd. Everyone wearing that same mask, never showing their true colours to anyone at arms reach. I lived most of my life wanting to blend in with the rest of society, whether that was to pretend to be that perfect daughter my family wanted, the one with no defects, or anxieties, because if I so much as started hyperventilating or even crying, than I was threatened for showing that emotion. Or school, pretending to be a bully to others just so I could fit in and not get picked on, but going home and feeling like shit for treating someone so innocent like trash just because I was scared to be different, to stand up for others, even myself. It didn't stop the bullying though anyway I endured all throughout school. Elementary, Middle, High school. Part of me wonder's maybe it was deserved, but it truely isn't. We all have this twisted idea of what is right or wrong, when really there is no true 'right' or 'wrong' if you think about it. Human's have labelled things as 'bad' or 'good'. To keep a balance right? Without evil there can be no good, and without good there can be no evil. Where there is light, there is shadow. Yin and yang. Everything had something to compliment it.
I'm kinda high right now and I do not know what made me decide to blab all of that, but damn it it's my journal so I can talk all the incoherent nonesense I want! Free the demons from my mind so they no longer have a grip of me! In the end, is it better to be different, or to go with the crowd? Well, now? I'd rather be the most weird, strange, deranged, individual! And I am proud of how far I have come from way back then when I was so young and naive and too scared to be my own person. It is such a thrilling experience to finally, be unapologetically yourself, and not giving a hot damn what anyone thinks of you or what you are into!